Date: 14/12/2024
A survey revealed that 48.3% of youths rate their 'failure index' at 6 or above (out of 10), indicating a tendency to view themselves as failures, mainly linked to academic performance. Life inevitably involves various failures, if not managed properly, these can adversely affect mental health and personal development. From June to September this year, Hong Kong Christian Service (HKCS) surveyed 597 individuals aged 12 to 24 to explore their experiences with failure. The findings showed that 55.0% of youths faced 'blame' from others after experiencing failure, with family being the most significant source of secondary trauma, further harming their mental health.
Viewing Unmet Goals as Failure
The survey invited youths to evaluate their 'failure index' from 0 to 10, with higher scores indicating greater feelings of failure. The average score was 5.6. The top three definitions of 'failure' among youths were: 'not achieving personal goals' (82.1%), 'not fully demonstrating own strengths/abilities' (51.8%), and 'not meeting others' expectations' (42.4%).
Youths rating their 'failure index' at 6 to 10 tended to view failure more negatively, citing statements such as 'others always emphasise the results of failure while dismissing the efforts made during the process' and 'failure diminishes my value'. When asked about the most impactful failure experiences, 77.2% identified them as related to 'academic achievement', significantly more than the second-highest category, 'personal ability demonstration or development' (48.2%), followed by 'peer/interpersonal relationships' (39.5%).
Secondary Trauma May Harm Mental Health
After experiencing failure, 55.0% of youths faced further 'blame' from others, with 76.5% of the blame coming from family members, far exceeding that from teachers (26.7%) and peers (24.2%). Other common negative responses included 'being overly concerned for me' (45.0%) and 'disclosing the issue without my consent' (43.7%). These negative responses cause youths to feel further defeated after experiencing failure, resulting in secondary trauma.
When facing failure, youths expect others to say… | |||
Most Desired Responses: | Least Desired Responses: | ||
I know you have tried very hard! | 46.3% | You are not that unfortunate. Many are worse than you. | 38.1% |
Take a break! | 26.3% | I told you so, but you never listen. | 36.7% |
I am here for you! | 25.1% | We’ve had tougher times in the past, and you can survive like we did. | 36.5% |
The survey also used the widely recognised General Health Questionnaire (GHQ-12) to measure youths' mental health and found that 3.4% had significant psychological distress. Data further indicated that greater secondary trauma correlates with poorer mental health. Notably, family-induced secondary trauma impacts mental health more than the experience of failure itself.
Fear of Facing Failure
66.0% of youths reported fearing failure, primarily due to others' expectations, such as 'fearing disappointing others' and 'fearing letting others down'. Additionally, the survey used the Achievement Motives Scale (AMS), revealing that youths' motivation to avoid failure surpassed their motivation to succeed. In other words, they are more concerned about facing failure than striving for success. Importantly, as motivation to avoid failure increases, mental health declines. Meanwhile, motivation for success shows no significant relationship with mental health, suggesting that educating youths on facing failure is more effective for promoting mental health than merely pursuing success.
23-year-old Gigi (pseudonym) missed classes in her first year of university due to emotional issues and received warnings from her school. While friends enjoyed vibrant university lives, she described herself as 'a pile of lifeless sludge'. At that time, her family's concern included comments like 'I had it worse than you, just think it through yourself!' Such remarks further impacted Gigi negatively and led her to self-harm. However, after participating in HKCS's 'Fail Forward-Life Development Programme', she learned to confront failure and rebuild her confidence. 'When facing failure, we often doubt ourselves and blame ourselves for letting others down.' She stated, 'I hope everyone does not overlook or underestimate every opportunity for support. Even a simple expression of concern can warm those who are suffering and feeling helpless.' Today, Gigi has successfully graduated from university and serves as a 'FAIL Docent' at HKCS, supporting others with similar experiences.
Recommendations
Based on the survey results, Hong Kong Christian Service recommends strengthening collaboration among families, schools, and social service agencies to comprehensively support youth facing failures in order to promote their mental health and achievement motivation:
1. Assist Youths in Confronting Failure to Establish Personal Values
- Conduct casework or group interventions to guide youths in examining their unique experiences with failure to explore and establish personal values while enhancing their sense of hope.
- Provide platforms for youth participation and expression of opinions that encourage them to extend their focus from 'self' to 'society', thus having a positive influence.
2. Strengthen Youth Support Networks to Facilitate Effective Emotional Responses
- Enhance stakeholders' understanding and recognition of youths' emotions and thoughts when facing failures to strengthen emotional connections within support networks while reducing secondary trauma caused by negative responses.
- Offer support services for parents through youth or family service organisations so they can grasp effective parent-child communication and emotional response skills better and adopt a more open attitude towards experiences of failure.
3. Create a Diverse and Accepting Growth Environment to Redefine Failure
- Enhance public education efforts that broaden the definitions of 'failure' and 'success', reducing stigma against youths who experience failure while promoting a culture of mutual acceptance and understanding.
- Promote 'failure education' and the importance of recognising emotions and values education to cultivate a caring school environment that enhances mental health among all stakeholders.
